A Human Story
by Ponella
Summary: A humanization of the Toy Story saga, my way, and with certain movie timelines rearranged. Feel free to R&R, I don't bite! Main pairings are Woody/Bo and Buzz/Jessie, because I'm an old canon fan. Rated T for mentions of child abuse.
1. Astronaut Escort

**A/N: **Do any of you know what I love about Toy Story? It was born the same year I was (1995), it broke the fourth wall for animators everywhere – finally breaking the schism that this new way of making movies was bad and would take jobs from old regular 2D animators. Oh, and it's just the best thing since animated bread (okay, terrible pun, but I couldn't resist). I've also wanted to write the characters as humans, although I don't know why I've never done so before or even written a Toy Story fanfic before now. So now I'm writing them as humans. Enjoy! I've been writing fanfiction for 3 years now so I'm bound to be some good at it, even though this is, in all reality, my first time writing any of the Toy Story characters so they will probably be a bit OOC. Pairings are Woody/Bo and Buzz/Jessie, because they're both virtually canon and I'm an old fashioned fangirl. Once again, enjoy! Woody is a policeman (as this is in modern times and not western times), as is Jessie. I'll figure out what Buzz and Bo do for work as I go along… And Woody and Jessie are siblings, because that's also something that's virtually canon.

**Chapter One – Astronaut Escort**

Woody Pride rolled over in his state of half-sleep, grumbling lowly at the alarm clock's incessant buzzing and cursing it for ruining his morning. Why couldn't they make quieter alarm clocks? He sighed, supposing it was just because if they were quiet they wouldn't wake you up. "JESSIE, GET A POT ON!" he yelled at the open door, safe in the assumption that his sister would hear him and go make coffee.

"GET IT ON YOURSELF, COWBOY!" she yelled back, thwarting his plans of five more restful minutes in bed. Of course, knowing her, she was already up and out of bed; but then again, knowing her, she did love watching her older brother suffer.

They were both in the same line of work and neither of them had partners or families holding them down, so it was only logical that they shared an apartment. That, and it saved on fuel because they didn't have to use separate cars to get to work.

He made an attempt to shuffle out under the sheets, but the worn muscles and ligaments under his skin cried out in protest, and he instantaneously curled in on himself as a wave of bedsore-induced pain racked his body. He frowned into the pillows, knowing he'd have to get up at some point and willing the tiredness in his body to subside. The aspect of a warm shower and and a hot cup of coffee spurred him on, and he eventually made in out from under his enormous duvet, first putting his feet on the floor tentatively. Hoping to surprise her, he walked down the stairs with a quietness befitting a trained soldier.

He still remembered the beatings Uncle Pete had administered to him when he'd been out of line, and flinched as his body flexed as muscle memory kicked in. The beatings had made him quick and alert, and eventually he knew when to dodge and when to stand his ground. Unfortunately standing his ground usually resulted in more beatings, but that was all in the past and he grimaced as he pushed these memories to the back of his mind. Again.

Reminiscing, he hadn't noticed his sister come up behind him, and as she bellowed a cry of "HOWDY, PARTNER!" he could have sworn he was on attack mode in that split second.

"Jesus, Jess, give a guy a little space!" he yelped, throwing her off him with a force unknown to his stringy frame. He remembered they'd played cowboy games and watched old westerns on the TV when they were younger. It was about the only good part of his childhood. There could have been much more good parts, but it had all been blocked out for the most part.

He looked behind him, seeing Jess's small frame retreating. He hated being so unnecessarily rough with her, but she should've learnt her boundaries by now and knew how on edge he was all the time.

"Aww, Jess…"

"No, forget about it!" she yelled, sticking her hands up in defeat as he watched her walk away, "Let's just get some breakfast and then get to work; you're driving."

* * *

><p>The drive to work had been pleasant enough. It was springtime so everything was coming into bloom, and it really was a nice view. He exited the old Ford Focus and went over to the door on the passenger side. Opening the door for her was part of their daily routine, and he was nothing if not a gentleman.<p>

The walk into the station was easy enough, but were instantly bombarded with bequests of their presences as they entered the building.

"Miss Pride, ma'am, you're needed at a NASA research station," Reginald, a young intern, (they just called him Rex) said to Jessie before she could take a breath, "they need a police officer there to supervise the opening of a new facility."

"Thanks, Rex, just hold my calls 'til I get back."

"Yes, miss Pride!" Rex replied, carrying his mountainous mound of paperwork through to his small office.

Woody, meanwhile, was in a similar situation with his secretary, Mrs Petunia Head. She was like a mother to him, although he hated to admit it. "Mr Pride, you're needed at a protest march. They need someone to negotiate with the protesters."

"Thanks, Tunia – and how's Pat?" Patrick Head, Petunia's husband, was like a father to him in much the same way Petunia was like a mother to him. He'd been battling with cancer recently, and although none of them like to acknowledge this fact, they still loved to hear of him – a tumorous lung and a bad knee certainly hadn't dampened his spirits, and he was still full of life as ever.

"Oh, holding up as always. Doctor says if all goes well he'll be in remission by next month."

"Great. Well, I'll be off."

* * *

><p>"I don't see why I gotta be here; we police ain't got nothing to do with space travel."<p>

"Just a precaution, miss…?"

"DI Jessica Pride. I assume this new facility will be manned by uniformed spacemen, like yourself?" she fluttered her lashes at the officer before her. She took the time to admire his strong build, imagining that there must be some washboard abs beneath that spacesuit of his. She didn't know why; most woman fantasized about firemen or their favourite actors or singers, but she rather fancied a man in astronautical uniform.

"Ah, yes, miss Pride, in fact I will be inside the facility myself." he stuttered, flabbergasted, "We just need a person of the authorities to be in the room; it's mandatory for such small jobs as these."

Astronautical Engineer Buzz Lightyear had always admired women of the law, but this one cut the cake; he loved her red hair that fell in one big plait down her back, and was sure he would love untying that yellow bow at the end and running his fingers through those silky scarlet locks. He next admired her lips, which had a peachy-pink quality to them that didn't look overdone or slutty, and he next looked at her eyes. Those marvellous green orbs entranced him and wrapped him in their shining embrace which he swore he could never leave. Not once did he think of her beautiful figure, because it was *ahem* unorthodox and undignified to be thinking of the policewoman in such a way. He reminded himself that she was purely here on business, and that he could no attempt to woo her in the workplace for fear of his feelings being misconstrued. He resolved that he'd be able to talk with her more openly once work was over, but jumped the boat anyway, "Miss Pride, would like to…"

"I'd love to." she said, putting on her best beaming smile, and he could've sworn he nearly died and went to heaven.

"7pm, my place?" she seemed heavily offended by this, and so he explained, "I'm sorry, I should explain; I like to cook on a date if I can. Why go to the effort of asking if you're not going to make the effort?"

"You know, most people call me Jessie, or Jess." she was loving this side of him; after Uncle Pete and every other man she'd known, she hadn't thought any man could be that thoughtful.

"I think I'll call you… Jess…" he replied, threading his fingers through her hair. He was wrong; her hair was rather coarse compared to the fine strands he'd once imagined. He imagined it must be a side affect of her work, thinking it must eat up allot of her personal time.

She coughed to wake him out of his thoughts, and he was brought back to reality, "Well, I think you better escort me to this new facility, huh partner?"

"Yes, miss Pri– Jess." he replied, blushing profusely.

**A/N: **I never imagined I'd be adding more characters to this besides Buzz and Bo, but I'm really getting into this now. I'm so sorry for giving Mr Potato Head cancer! But rest assured, it's only lung cancer, it was diagnosed early and he'll be in remission soon. Shall I introduce the aliens into the story, humanized as Mr and Mrs Head's sons? I think I shall, but maybe not in the next chapter. After I'd characterized Rex as Jessie's intern, I sudden realized "HOLY SHIT WHAT ABOUT BULLSEYE!" and facepalmed. But I love Rex, he was my first choice for the position and he's adorable as a human. If any of you were confronted with the sudden urge to hug him, I know the feeling and know I've done my job.

Also, sorry about making it so Woody was abused when he was little. It seemed so right… what with Stinky Pete being the psycho he was.


	2. Hello, Dolly!

**A/N: **In this fic, Woody and Jessie have never met Bo or Buzz, but they do meet them eventually. This chapter starts off more-or-less where the first chapter left off, and then it carries on into Woody meeting Bo. I've made Bo a protester for Animal Rights in this, because I thought it was befitting to her since she _was _a shepherdess in the nursery rhyme and the Toy Story movies. This chapter may contain further explanation of Woody's traumatic upbringing – don't like, don't read.

I think I should give this fic a setting, don't you? So it's set a little close to home – more specifically Oldham in Manchester. It's where one of my brothers lives, and I've been there recently. Very fun, I got pick-'n'-mix. Of course, it all fossilized eventually…

**My replies to reviews:** Thanks for the review Misshumanoidtyphoon, the love is reciprocated, and to Francesca Lucia: I always ramble in my reviews too, and generally anything I type. It's just in both our natures to ramble, and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I warrant applause now? Nobody's ever told me that when they review a fic of mine, high praise indeed. And I love when my readers ramble, so read on my friends!

Oh, and 2 reviews! It was so unexpected, considering it's my first Toy Story fic. But read on, everyone! I think two reviews after the first day warrant the next chapter. Be warned, this be a long one…

**Chapter Two – Hello, Dolly.**

It was nighttime, and Buzz was driving Jessie to his place – something which he had insisted upon.

"So, Jess, you got any family?"

"Well, my parents are long since passed, but I share an apartment with my brother – we're both cops in the same area, so it saves on money and fuel to live in the same place and use the same car to get to work. His name's Woody."

"How were you brought up if you had no parents? – sorry, if you don't mind me asking."

"They died when I was a baby and Woody was just a kid, so we were raised by our Uncle Pete. He wasn't like a nice uncle – he abused Woody allot. Sometimes I think that's why he chose to be a policeman – so what happened to him doesn't happen to any other children."

"Did he…?"

"Abuse me? No, thankfully. I was like a daughter to him, and he always put on a 'caring uncle act' while I was around. It was only a couple of years ago when he died that Woody finally told me all that he'd done, and when I look back on it… I can't believe I ever trusted that man. I think the only reason he looked after either of us was because he couldn't stand the thought of being alone – that's why he died. We both grew up and left, and he couldn't take it. He was a picnic short of a picnic, and I'm glad he's gone – but Woody's still on edge from the years of repressed suffering and I try to help him as best I can."

Buzz was now seeing this new side to Jessie – a caring side, that often only her brother got to see. The trauma inflicted on her brother and the resulting trauma of finding out had hardened her, he was sure.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know."

"I know. But you're the first truthfully caring guy I've met, and I'm not going to pass up this opportunity."

Buzz chuckled; she certainly knew a good choice when she saw one.

* * *

><p>Never in a million years would he have thought such a woman as her could have stolen his heart, but it happened. Her skin, near-white like pure porcelain and unmarked in its' perfection. Her blonde hair, obviously natural in colour and framing her face stunningly, falling at her shoulders in delightful bangs.<p>

Surrounded by a squad of men in riot gear, he felt he had no other option but to tell them to let him pass – it was like his mind was on autopilot after seeing the heavenly vision before him. He walked up to the woman, smiling at seeing her so taken off guard. "And what would your name be, little lady?" the words had tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, "don't seem right that a beauty like you is in amongst all this trouble."

She seemed defiant for a moment, but eventually conceded, "I'm Bo Peep, Environmental Conservationslist and Head of Animal Rights Troupe #54."

"Bo Peep – like the nursery rhyme? You wouldn't happen to be here to protest the unlawful treatment of sheep, would you?"

She giggled, "No, the unlawful treatment of horses."

Woody had always admired horses – at one point he had even considered a career involving them, a side affect of watching old westerns as a kid. He also admired anyone who stood up for horses' rights. He hadn't believe in love at first sight at any point in his life until now, and he chose to act upon it.

He got down on one knee and took her hand, "Miss Peep, I know this must seem awfully forward and we've only just met but – will you marry me?"

She put a hand to her chest as a blush rose to her cheeks, "What?"

"I've never been one to partake in all that 'love at first sight' nonsense, but now I know it's real and I'm not going to give it up. I've only just met you and already I feel I couldn't be without you – and I must have you as my wife."

She smiled, "You haven't even told me your name, stranger."

"Woody Pride, ma'am."

She was beaming now, "I guess I'm going to be Mrs Pride then, aren't I?"

He grinned, "You won't regret it."

"I'm sure I won't, sheriff." And she bent down to kiss him as he was standing back up, smiling as their lips made contact. The policeman and the protester – they did say opposites attract.

* * *

><p>(It's the next morning)<p>

He awoke the next morning to find no alarm blaring unceremoniously in his ears, but to find a pair of lips softly brushing against his. Right, it was the weekend – he was off duty. And he was engaged now.

She laughed as he deepened the oral contact, and he decided her laugh was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. "Mornin', soon-to-be Mrs Pride." he said, facing her as they broke the kiss. He was mesmerized – even in waking, she looked beautiful.

Woody was broken out of his happy daze by an unwelcome sound.

"Woody, I'm home!"

"Crap, my sister!"

"What?" Bo said, looking puzzled.

"We share living space, seeing as we're both cops. I completely forgot about her!" he was getting out of bed and dressing hurriedly, "Don't worry, just gotta go talk to her – you stay here." He kissed her quickly on the cheek, ran out the bedroom and closed the door.

"Jess!" he exclaimed. She seemed more sprightly than usual, but he put it down to his own drowsiness.

"Woody, you'll never guess what happened last night!"

"Uh huh…" he said, a growing unease in the pit of his stomach. Has she learnt of his proposal?

"Yeah, I'm dating an astronaut!"

Relieved that he hadn't been caught out, he replied, "What?"

"This guy at that NASA research station I had to go to yesterday – we really hit it off, and he asked me out on a date! It went splendidly. But enough about me, what happened at the protest march?"

"Uh, called off…"

"Oh, great!"

"…on account of me getting engaged to one of the head protesters."

He was expecting the one-woman mob any moment now, "I'm sorry, what?"

"She's beautiful, Jess! And so articulate, and she loves animals! I… I really couldn't stop myself, and she said yes!"

Fortunately for him, she seemed to take it well, "She makes you happy, that much I can see. When am I gonna meet this new woman a' yours then, partner?"

Woody called her out, "Bo Peep, and you are?"

"Jessie Pride. So you're gonna be my sister-in-law? I imagine you get asked allot where your sheep are."

"You don't know the half of it."

Woody clapped his hands together, "Well, it's nice that you ladies are getting along, but I really should be gettin' some breakfast." as if his stomach had heard him, it rumbled on cue.

"Oh, and you haven't even got an engagement ring!" Jessie yelped when she held Bo's hand and noticed the non-existence of any ring.

"Well, it was all quite sudden – we only just met when he proposed."

Woody was stolen from his Cheerios by the sudden force of Jessie's hands pulling him around, "Well, you gotta go ring shopping, partner! I won't have my brother's fiancée going 'bout with no ring on her finger!"

"But – can I finish my cereal first?"

"No! And I'll keep an eye on your lady for you. When you're done you can even meet my new boyfriend."

"Jessie, I can't do anything on an empty stomach. Now can you please let me finish my cereal?"

* * *

><p>"Eh, that's white cubic zirconium you got there. It's fine if you're giving it as a birthday present."<p>

"Yeah, Hamm, you got anything like an engagement ring?"

"Why didn't you just ask – who's the lucky lady?"

"An animal rights protester – and don't scoff like that! There's much more to her, and animal loving is a good thing."

"Whatever you say, sheriff."

Harold Lammley, long-time friend of Woody's (who everyone just called Hamm), ran a high-end jeweller's, so it was naturally his first stop on the ring hunt.

"Ah – here we are. And a real diamond too, can't find much of them these days. You want something that's not too flashy, I assume?"

"Yeah, this'll do just perfectly, thanks Hamm."

* * *

><p>He stared at the screen in apprehension.<p>

**TheSherrif has logged on.**

**DollytheWitch has logged on.**

**DollytheWitch:** Hey, Sherrif, haven't chatted with you in a while.

He hesitated, and started typing.

**TheSherrif:** Yeah, been busy… getting engaged. How's Bonnie?

**DollytheWitch:** Wait, back up; getting engaged? How long ago?

**TheSherrif: **…nearly a week ago.

**DollytheWitch: **Are you kidding? Did you even know her before you proposed to her?

**TheSherrif: **No, actually. But I love her, and you didn't answer my question.

**DollytheWitch: **She's fine, and you can't marry a girl you've only just met, cowboy! What's her name, what does she do?

**TheSherrif: **Bo Peep; she's an animal rights protester.

**DollytheWitch: **How ironic. Does she get allot of people asking about her sheep?

**TheSherrif: **Yeah, but she's used to it. T'was love at first sight, something I've never believed in until I met her.

**DollytheWitch: **Always knew you were an old romantic. Are you going to have an engagement party? You're the best DCI this city has ever had – you can't not have one.

**TheSherrif: **I'll have to see what she thinks about it.

**DollytheWitch: **C'mon, I haven't been to a party in ages! And Jessie will love it. She'll get to show off her new boyfriend. Astronaut, I'm told.

**TheSherrif: **Yeah, I haven't met the guy either.

**DollytheWitch: **A party is the perfect opportunity, don't you think?

**TheSherrif: **Okay, but I'm keeping it small. You can only invite our mutual friends.

**DollytheWitch: **Aww, you ruin all my fun.

**TheSherrif: **All your fun'll be the death of me, bye.

**TheSherrif has logged out.**

**A/N: **Eh… In this, Bonnie is Dolly's daughter. And I didn't know how to end this chapter, so what happens? I throw one of Bonnie's toys into the mix in an e-mail conversation. I just hope I haven't made Hamm or Dolly OOC, but still made them human. I'm thinking of drawing the humanizations now XD

I find the title of this chapter brilliant and hilarious because 1. It hints at the ending of the chapter and 2. It doesn't give you an idea of what happens in the chapter unless you've seen TS3, and I can't help but find that shit funny. Oh, and you know WALL-E, the main character of the PIXAR movie named after him? His favourite movie was _Hello, Dolly_. And I only know that because I fangirled over WALL-E for two years. Could I be moving on with the Toy Story trilogy? I'm still a big fan of WALL-E, I just don't write or draw him as much anymore.

I've already started chapter three, but I wasn't expecting to put this chapter so soon after the first! I hope you're all grateful. I'm hardly ahead of myself now, am I?


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